I hadn’t closed my heart properly, there was still a draught although I’m not saying I left it as open as a door. I may have been careless, I may have been thinking about my umbrella or looking for my car. I left my heart ajar.
I’m not saying I’d slammed my heart shut like a toilet. I’m just saying, it really isn’t like me to leave the lid up. But sometimes I don’t lock the door. I left my heart ajar.
Like a traveler from field to field, I had climbed over some gates, I had been afraid of cows, I had probably trespassed at times and at times I had tried to be invisible and listened out for shotguns. But there was this one gate I struggled to open (it was stuck down in mud) and I was looking at the fields ahead and I can’t remember if I closed it properly behind me. I’m afraid the animals have escaped. I left my heart ajar.
I’m not sure how it happened, I must have overlooked. I’m not saying it was easy to open as a book but it wasn’t hard to open like a jar of pickled onions. There was room to maneuver.
Don’t get me wrong. I had had visitors before. I’m not saying they came streaming in and out like through a revolving door in an STI clinic, it was more the sporadic night time goings on of a catflap. In a dog’s home. No, not that scarce…it wasn’t open but you could feel a cool breeze.
But I grew tired, I put a closed sign on my door in business hours. It’s no one’s fault I shut up shop, well I thought I did.
All I’m saying is they missed the window, we hit a wall, there were slammed doors and closed faces and so I drew the curtains. I battoned the hatches. I holed in. I meant to do the deadbolt, the chain and the bar…but I must have left my heart ajar.
Then there was you. You came along like a locksmith. You gave just a little push this way or maybe that, or maybe you knew the code…you might have wiggled the key in just the right way (it’s all in the wrist). Next thing I knew, the door was open as a window. I let you in. I put the kettle on. I took your coat. We put a ‘do not disturb’ sign out.
I can’t remember what happened next but when we put our clothes back on I decided you could stay for a while and we weren’t going anywhere soon so while you were sleeping I locked the door with a satisfying click.
